Whisper

Golden ray 

Of the falling Sun

Hearing the sound silent

Behind the fjelds

Inviting

Whispering,

It takes You with

The Northern wind

The abandoned land so quiet

Tells the story so silently

About the life of it so long ago

In the fire I see

The magic of the past

The fears of that time come back

Like I would be in the story myself

The rapids is so powerful

It keeps flowing passionately

It is sweet to hear

What the tears of it

Will bring with them

Riddles, secrets of Gaia

You cant know the meaning,

If you dont listen

When the nature tells the story

The sunset

The sky the sun has made golden

I want to see again

Until the last ray of light

Lowers behind the fjelds

Abandoned

They all have gone

you among them,

I am alone in this dark room

among the abandoned fallen leaves



Buildings are empty

no sounds of laughter

no sounds of your tone

just silence is with me

here as I fade away



They left me

as you did too

this room falling apart

with the dying leaves



my mind is now empty

no hope of laughter

no hope of your voice

once you sang to me

with the memory I die away

Enslavement

Fairytales and illusions

entertainment for your eyes

false security for you mind

lovely thoughtless life awaits you

you wont resist the coming age

you are hooked to your lifestyle

addicted to your materia 

you think you stay happy this way

you are safe for now

and it is all that matters

hold on to your plastic dreams

wish them to come true

while they get power

create the vision for you

brainless mass to enslave

obey the masters of the world

Where did the fairytales go

disappeared from your eyes

what happend to your mind?

You got your thoughtless life now

Now you wake up to resist

but you are too weak and tired

they made you numb with materia

and you cant change yourself anymore

you are no longer safe

they dont care for the slaves

Hold on to your plastic dreams 

while they still last

tomorrow they have the power

and no one remembers you

you were nothing but brainless mass

now obey your new masters

Fragile

Fragile like porcelain

I hold onto my last pieces

I try not to collapse

May I stop being strong?

I am so tired and weak

And this walk is so long

my feet drag me ahead

keep on falling down

something always forcing me back

like torturer holding me in chains

I got lost on the way

cant find my balance

walking on the borderline

somewhere between realities

Where do I come from?

Where will I go?

This pain is just too much

It keeps on piercing my heart

over and over, again and again

Why cant I make it stop?

When enough is enough?

release

Dark winds of death come
let your arms embrace me
hold me down still
until I pull my last breath
choke on my puke
nose bleeding and hands shaking
then release comes
my body gets loose
my restless mind seize to exist
and I dont have to think anymore

Choices

This chaos in my head,
wont let me rest.
It drives me on the edge of madness
It sinks me into the bottomless sea of choices
I ponder, think, wonder
Feeling restless and paranoid
This restless thinking puts me in apathy
Empty space of nothingness
Where I worry of things meaningless
Then get so tired, yet can not get sleep
I stare at the ceiling, cant move, cant eat, cant feel.
There are only two things can rid me of this chaos,
Death or drugs, which would be your choice?

To Grave..

Bitter pieces of my heart on the floor,
like mirrors reflecting my broken personality
The trails of blood leading to me
tears falling down on my wretched skin

how come I am suppose to resist
the traps set to a fool like me
those torment and torture
and then leave me die

the graves of the fallen are opening
and I will become one of them
my body will dry and shrink away
and there is no trace that I ever was..

Memories

Filthy shoes on feet chased by nightmares
neverending dream in my sub conscience,
why so hard to let go of this black burden?
why it still weighs so heavily on my shoulders?

Was your punch bag, the target of your frustration,
the object of your twisted sexual game,
I no longer belong to you, I no longer get hurt by you
but why the chains still haunt me in my life

I should let go of your memory, let go of you
you left your scar in me, your burning mark
I can never be what I had been without it
You wounded me deeply and hard

many years I suffered in your hands
was an easy target being smaller than you
I want to let go, I want to release myself of this
Just please go away out of my life!!

Love Sickness

Torment and torture, that what it is,
then why I still miss it,
why my heart yearns that feeling?

I am always lonely, in this madness of mine
but living by myself has doubled it,
yet living with someone drives me crazy

My mind is creating illusions
false pictures of love to fill my mind
maybe to cover the loneliness.

But when I achieve that feeling
and someone is willing to love me
I have to run, for it burns me.

Random Thoughts

Why my heart is still full of hope
why am I still full of love
when this world is so cold and ugly
full of despair
full of destruction

why I still hear the whisper of the wind
why I hear the solid music of silence in nature
when this world is full of hatred
full of revenge and envy
full of ignorance..

why art touches me still
why am I melancholy
when the world turns to plastic
full of robots on the streets
full of microchip heads..

666 Kisses

Received 666 kisses,
gently use them on my altar
let them consume my body
feel the dark touch of Thine flame
as I work the energies trough my body and mind
sweet pleasure and pain
Incense is lit, black candles burning
Scent of musk and cinnamon
and roses in bloom
fill my chamber

Fresh blood in my cup
I drink for Thee and from Thee
and for my 666 males
who desire and lust
who I indulge and burn
torture and torment in Thy name
until they fade away
innocent and doomed.

Brides

 The beauty comes to me Dancing with the wind,
She comes trough the window and makes me do the sin.
I leave my room and wander trough the hall,
The darkness fills me soon. I see my shadow on the wall. No one else is awake.
I open a door I shouldn’t, I can’t be prevented now.
I want to back up I can’t, she has me hypnotized.
I walk into the kitchen. The blade of the cooking knife is so tempting.
The blade shines in the moonlight as I walk towards her room.

She sleeps so sound, her breast so full.
I go to her, wake her up with a kiss and then hold her as I tie her wrists.
Her eyes go round and asking why her, I don’t answer to her question.
I begin my work with cutting her breasts, slowly moving the knife trough her body,
she bleeds severely and he eyes are begging for mercy.

I enjoy my work, while she is swimming in her blood.
She looks me in the eyes,
I can see the pain in her heart, and how it makes me feel. I don’t have regrets.
I have sadistic mind and sharp instincts, they call me serial killer.
Once again I am proud of my work, for insane I am my love.
I did it to everyone before you, and will continue until I find a perfect bride,
my beauty haunting my nights.

Elinazariel  fall -94

Eaten

Creatures crawling on my skin, hunting my ever changing life
Spin around with rope very thin, twist the wound with my knife
My visions are blurred and bitter and I see no point in my pain
I am surrounded by fools who try to force me to gain
that illusion of welfare

Crawl and bow, feel your flesh beaten everyday
Don’t care for the worms on your back
Kneel, serve , run , die when they say
Until your vision goes black

Can you hear my rotten voice
 speak silently in your ears?
Can you see your own life fade away
when you die by my hands.

My life has been a theatre play, shown out for so long
The story has faded away but my empty shell still goes on
I am numb to the pain now, I feel nothing at all
They crushed my soul, I give them the fall
into the aeons of death.

Graveyard of insanity

Always this emptiness
filling my mind with its void
It destroys my attempts to live
why cant I just end this pain?

Sorrow is there buried in my body
It leaves only with the death.
It yearns to get out but I silence it
Until I can bare no longer

Burden and a stone, tired of existance
I bury myself deeper in my inner world
a clown and entertainment to the outside
broken mirror from within

Is there a graveyard of insanity
where my mind can finally rest
where this black hole stops eating me
and I will finally be me?

Circus

Mercury mirror of insanity,
hollow thougths, clear instinct
feeding upon the lies of mankind

The Circus is growing
but the show is almost over

Trust has no place in hypocrisy
Eye of truth sees trough it all
In the end the house of god will fall..

Tired

Too tired to clean my mess,
too tired to look my bills
too tired to be constantly ill
too tired for waiting the court letters
too tired to talk about this
too tired to take meds
too tired to cut myself
too tired to care less.
I go back in my dungeon
hope not to wake up again
Fuck it all!!!

NeCroMantic LuSt

Seize my pain with your blood
Come and let me take you darling
Come like the summer breeze
Feel the lust of my corpse
Know your pain when you look me in the eyes

I hate this coldness of my body
I hate you, my dear
Let me feel you inside me
That I'll get rid of my fear

Give me your energy of life
Heal and feed me with your liquid
Have the perfect erection and come with death
Feel the lust inside you
Know that the thirst shall be forever

I hate that coldness of Your body
I must destroy You, My darling
Let Yourself feel Me around You
and You'll get rid of Your hunger

Wolves

A wolf lurked in the shadows waiting,
I walked by him dreaming,
The Moon was fullest that night,
And it revealed my pale skin in the light.

The wolf saw me coming close,
never came out from the shadows
He spoke with a tender tone,
I trusted it for the sound so warm.

I was taken by his tempting tone,
fell in love with his charm,
my defense was completely gone,
and my heart full of hot blood


I was now close enough him to touch my skin
it burned me and made me to surrender,
but suddenly I felt a piercing pain,
and felt his hand inside my chest.

Now he stepped out of the shadow
his eyes were cold and inert
He took my heart in his hand,
and ate from the source of my zest.

Weak and dry I fell on the ground,
the wolf began to howl,
Then he crabbed my throat to strangle me,
tried to kill me and ran back to the shadows.

Now I wander alone in this Moon Light
haunting the ones as I once was,
my eyes are now cold and inert,
and I fill myself with fresh blood.